If you’re 99.9% convinced that your partner is on dating sites but lack concrete proof, confront them as though you already have the confirmation you need. I know you’re on there, why would you do this to me!” Look for their reaction and trust your gut.
It’s much better to do this in person, rather than by phone or text, so you can better gauge their response. Beware that even if you are right, cheaters are notorious for lying through their teeth to conceal their behavior. Be confident you’re right on the money before you attempt this, and be willing to pay the price should your assumption be incorrect.
Tip #5: Access To Their Devices
Getting access to your partner’s device is the fastest way to find out whether or not they are being faithful. If your partner is guarded and Match.com app standoffish whenever it comes to their devices (especially their phone) – it should raise your suspicion. Although there could be many reasons why they would be guarded about their phone, it is a major red flag. But, if for some reason you are able to get access to their phone, there are three key things you should look for.
- Hidden Folders: It is very common for people to hide apps within folders on their phones. On Androids, iPhones, and Windows, folders can have multiple pages, and the apps that people hope no one ever sees are hidden within the deepest pages. If no dating apps stand out on the home screen, look into each folder and scroll to the very last page.
- Look at other messaging apps: Once people meet someone on dating sites, it is very common for them to move the conversation to other messaging apps. Checking apps like Snapchat and Facebook messenger are good places to find out who your partner is messaging, how often, and when.
- Home screen search bar: Another way of finding out if your partner is on a dating site is using the search bar on the home screen to find specific apps. If an app is on your partner’s phone, this is a fast way of finding it. The only catch is, you have to know exactly what you are looking for. Going to the search bar and typing in “dating app” will not give you anything. But typing in “Tinder” “Bumble” or “Hud” will bring it up if it is on their phone.
Most of the time someone who is hiding their dating site use will be a pro at deleting their computer history. Instead, look through their saved password list on their computer (also research how to do this in advance, for instance, “keychain” on an Apple-based computer). Look for passwords to any dating sites saved on their computer.
Tip #6: Junk Mail
While everyone gets random, odd in their inbox, someone who is frequently registering with dating sites through their email address will have more of such mailing. Search their trash mail or look for patterns. This isn’t concrete proof but might substantiate your case.
Tip #7: Authenticity
If you find that you don’t have proof, but don’t feel satisfied trusting your partner, it may be time to look more deeply into your relationship. What is it about them, You, your connection, or their behavior which is causing you to feel such a lack of trust?
It could be that the lack of confidence alone means it’s time for you to reevaluate your relationship, have a heart-to-heart discussion, try couple’s therapy, or move on!